|the naive rebel|
━━━━ ♛ ━━━━

xxix| Jinxing my life
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

━━━━ ♛ ━━━━
INAAYAT
━━━━ ♛ ━━━━

As I close the door behind me, the passage is dark and empty.

I can hear no one in the corridor below as well, I take the flight of stairs to reach the ground floor. Passing the first floor, I climb down slowly holding the railing so that I don't trip-

Jinxing my life.

I tumble and roll and squish on my way down as I fall the entire length rolling and hitting the stair steps.

Once I am sure I am lying on the ground, I open my eyes seeing nothing but darkness. Glancing back at the staircase, I take a painful sigh.

I wince as I try sitting but my back hurts. I clean the dust from my jeans and I bite my tongue holding back a cry. I am certainly sure both my knees are bleeding. My elbows are scratched and bruised.

I painfully raise my hand, my fingers tapping my forehead to check for a wound. I whimper, as the wound on my forehead pains and burns. I scrutinise my eyes in the dark trying to see if the wound is bleeding, but the gloominess doesn't let me see anything. I hold the railing as I painfully stand on my feet.

Taking a step forward, I limp seeing how my slippers cladded feet are now sore and my toenail has pierced my skin.

If someday, the Government decides to reward the clumsiest person in India, I would be highly disappointed if I don't get a spot in the top three.

I check my two back pockets for my phone and gun, discerning that my back, my butt, my neck, my entire freaking body is paining.

Where can I enrol myself for 'How to walk without falling' classes?

Any help? Anyone?

Still, I limp my way towards the room I saw Sameer entering. I am almost dragging myself as my body fails to maintain a liberal balance.

Once I am outside the warden's room, I try squatting at the door with my ears attached to the wood so that I can hear what is happening inside.

But, my plan is a fail. And there are two reasons behind it. First, injured body and squatting are like Pickle and Ice-cream. They DO NOT go together. And second, never follow the tactics or idea suggested in the detective Bollywood movies. They are nothing but clique-bait.

I am not going to kick the door open unless I want a fractured leg and a broken skull.

Disappointed in myself, I lean on the door trying to catch on their conversation. The question of how are they related, pricking my head.

As I lean on the door, my right side of the body's weight on the door. For the second time in the night, I fall on the ground. It would appear to a second person that I actually in all literal senses am kissing the ground. This time it's my chin that banged against the floor and the elbows are probably bleeding now.

I turn my head and look up seeing how the door of her room was open and that there is no one inside the room now.

At least, nobody saw my great fall.

Somehow I manage to pull myself up and stand on my feet. Wobbling to the room's mirror, I finally see how disastrous I look. My forehead has a cut and is bleeding, my palms are scratched, I can see dried blood on my jeans- which meant my knees had bleed too.

Let's not talk about the fresh bruise on my chin and my elbows which are paining like they are dislocated.

Sighing, I look at my reflection and tuck the gun back inside my pocket and paddle my way out to the garden.

Where have they gone? I saw him meeting the warden. As I come out the little drizzle and the cool winds hit my face.

It is late August which means monsoon will end soon. I try calming my scared conscience as I look around for Sameer or the warden. The garden is empty, the gates are closed. I walk towards the ground, there is not even a single soul in sight. Some street lamps are the only source of illumination seeing that today is no moon day.

As I limp and pull myself (literally) towards the garden, I finally hear a noise. The sudden noise doesn't fail to startle me and goosebumps rose all over my body. The drizzle suddenly catches a little pace.

I peep from the corner, where I see Sameer and the warden talking. Though Sameer's voice is inaudible I can hear the warden completely.

'We should. Let's not waste any time. We should tell her. Inaayat would only appreciate your help, Sameer.' She says and I look at them confused.

She called me Inaayat in front of him, Sameer knows..?

How? Wasn't she supposed to maintain secrecy? And what is that she wants to tell me?

Thinking that wasting any time further would just stack my questions, I decided to interrupt their nightly hidden gossip session.

"What is that you want to tell me?" I announce walking towards them.

They turn around way too quickly, once they look at me, warden leaves a long sigh while Sameer looks..he looks scared?

"Inaayat." The warden acknowledges me. I nod back. My hand unconsciously reaching my back pocket to cross-check for the gun.

"What happened to you?" She questions looking at my injuries." And, what brings you here."

"I can ask the same question-to both of you." I retort. Something changes in the warden's eyes and I realise, she is analysing my actions.

"You started doubting me?" She asks confidently.

"Not you but him," I say pointing at Sameer who gulps audibly.

"Oh, God." She pauses, "this is why I wanted to tell you everything in the start."

"What?"

"See Inaayat, I get your thinking. Past days certain things took place which made you and Ishaan doubt him."

"You know about Ishaan?"

"Who is Ishaan?"

Both Sameer and I question at the same time. Looking at each other we try deciphering the meaning of her words.

"Inaayat, Sameer is my son." She drops the sentence almost in a second and I feel like my brain has exploded.

"Wait-what?"

Why am I just repeating the word 'what', it's like my brain cannot process any word other than that?

"I'll explain to you everything." She tells me turning back and walking towards the stone stairs. Sitting there, she covers her face with her hands. Her hands trembling, and her eyes closed.

"You know Ojas right.." She starts and I feel a familiarity with the name. Thinking a little more, I realise she is talking about-Ojas, the last student to commit suicide, last year.

I hum politely.

"He is-I mean was my son, too. They both are brothers." She says pointing at Sameer.

"But the surnames-" I softly try to add."You changed your name too?"

"No, I was two when my parents and my little sister died in a car accident. Mom was my mother's sister, she and papa adopted me. Ojas was a year elder to me, we were inseparable. Almost of the same age group, he was my best friend." This time Sameer says. I can feel the heaviness in his voice.

"I changed my surname once I turned 18, in honour of my late parents. Hence, the different surnames, Angel." He offers me a small smile.

"I used to work in a different college, but after Ojas...Lalit, their father was informed about Ishaan being recruited here for the drug case. They needed somebody to help and supervise him. I volunteered to hope that I would find the reason-the reason he took such a drastic step." She tells.

"Ishaan knows about you?"

"He does, being an officer he didn't need any help. But, I had to supervise his actions, help him whenever I could. You were a different case altogether, you needed support. I didn't tell Sameer about Ishaan because the case he was working on had nothing to do with Ojas, but your case surely did. Since he joined the college he has been trying to figure out why did Ojas took such a step-or rather who was behind his murder."

"How are you so sure it was a murder?" I question even though I know it was a murder. Every suicide was a murder. The drug racket and the suicides are connected.

There's something we are neglecting- the hidden key between both the locks.

"Ojas died drowning in the swimming pool. The pool's depth was 4 feet. He was 5'12, if he wanted to save himself, he just had to stand on his feet. That is it." Warden informs.

"And he was in his school's swimming team. He knew how to swim. It is a murder. Somebody killed him. Somebody did." Sameer grunts.

"What was the cause of his death?" I ask.

"Water in the lungs."

It was a case of drowning but a good swimmer drowning in a swimming pool which wasn't even deep.

I hear the warden crying and something twists in my stomach. Her sobs depicting her loss, her son. I want to go and comfort her, but how?

Promising her that I would find the killer..but what if I can't. What if I fail? I ain't even working hard.

I-am I working enough to help her?

What if..what if I fail her, them, my parents-everyone.

The thought pinches my heart. After I am hurting my friends what if I hurt those parents who entrusted in the police with their ward's cases. What if I fail everyone.

"Ma, don't." Sameer sits next to her, hugging her trying to calm her down. I just stare at the wrenching scene in front.

"I know the killer would be punished. I trust her Ma." The next words act as the last nail to the coffin of my guilt.

Warden ma'am stands up, wiping her tears as she mutters 'I am going to my room' before she leaves Sameer and me alone.

I take a long breath, battling the war inside my mind.

"You know why I call you Angel the day I met you." Sameer pops the statement suddenly.

"I didn't know who you were the day we had that roasting event. That night Ma had told me about you. When I met you the next day, I didn't see you as Inaayat, what I saw was a ray of hope. A ray towards justice for my deceased brother. I call you Angel because I trust you. I believe-no-I know you will find my brother's killer. I trust you."

I trust you.

Aayu, I trust you.

Ina, I trust you.

I know, you can do this Inu.

I trust you, you aren't weak.

Do you trust me?

Like a broken glass, whose pieces are tattered and scattered but it becomes seemingly impossible to join them. To join a broke glass needs patience, but what about a crushed soul?

I am hurting a girl who trusts me so much, I am playing with a friend's trust.

If I fail, I'll break their-all the parents' trust. My father's trust would be broken.

The department. Everyone.

How can I do this? How can I be so selfish?

When I came here, the only reason I wanted to find the murderer was to prove to my parents that I ain't the black sheep. I am capable of.

It was my underlying selfishness, the urge which helped me through. I don't think I am even dedicated, at least as much I should have been.

I just wanted to find the person because for my content, for temporary satisfaction.

But, I failed to think about those parents who had wept days and are still haunted with the pain of losing a child. How could I not feel that..when I had seen my parents weeping for Aditya.

They pretended to be strong, but I had seen the pain, the tear marks, the sadness in them when he had suicided.

It took him a second to cut his veins, but for my parents, they lost their firstborn. Eighteen years of their household just vanished. It still hurts them. Still tears them apart from within.

"You are crying?" Sameer points at the blob that traces its path on my cheek.

"Can I borrow your car?" I ask him, surprising both him and myself.

"Sure." He says handing me his car keys as I start moving towards the second exit gate through the ground.

As soon as I turn around, my back facing him. I let myself succumb to the tears I was holding back there.

•

•

OOOOO!

so...what do you think?

did you see that coming?

how did you find the chapter?

also. all the acts Ina had performed- falling, slipping.

i have experienced them all so..🙊🙊🙊🙊

do comment and vote!

is possible share the story too!❤️

until the next,
keep dodging the bullets,
love,
ऊ.